If you’ve followed me elsewhere, you probably know how much I hate correspondence that ends with "Best,".

But the ending that really makes me want to teleport through the plumbing of the Internet and Hulk-smash your keyboard is, "Please advise."

I am not your lawyer. You don’t pay me an exorbitant retainer. So stop treating me like I owe you information.

Instead, consider these helpful alternatives:

• Can you help me?
• What am I doing wrong?
• Am I missing something?

Not only are they more polite, they’re questions. Questions demand answers. Commands do not.

–Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood post-production helper guy.